The first time I won NaNoWriMo I learned that I could finish something. The second time I won, I learned that writing is not something one can do in isolation, not successfully at least. The third time, this time, I learned that I don’t have to give up on myself.

It used to be a defense mechanism. To give up on myself before someone else could. Perhaps it comes from being bullied frequently as a child, or being praised for things that were completely ordinary because I’m Hard of Hearing. Or maybe it’s just fear. No matter the cause, it’s not healthy. I want to be honest about it and hope that we can learn to be honest with ourselves together. Whatever my reasons, holding myself back is something I’ve held on to for years. But thanks to the support of some wonderful writer friends on Instagram, my friends and family, and the concept of NaNoWriMo itself

This year, for reasons I can’t quite find the words for, I knew it would shatter me as a writer if I didn’t hit that 50,000 mark. It probably would have wounded me more deeply than that considering the fact that I’ve been working on this particular story for 17 years.

I have to admit, I was at a total loss for a while there, wondering how I’d hit 50k. I was still over 10k behind on November 29th. November 30th came, I hit the snooze button more times than I should and dragged myself off to the local library. I found it very motivational to take breaks, browse the books and to pre-order myself a celebratory pizza for dinner. I rather tripped over 50k. I was writing, and then I hit the word count. I finished up my sentence and called it a day. My brain (and poor hands!) were fried.

But I can’t say that I wrote a book. I only wrote one fourth of a book. The book in question is House of Moons: The Phoenix Mirror, the first in a dark fantasy young adult series. This will be a four book series with a plethora of other surprises. So, on I write! But I will be slipping in some short stories and novellas as I continue to write the House of Moon series. Regardless, I’m beyond holding myself back thanks to this year’s NaNoWriMo.

I hate that I have to wait before I can let you read HoM book 1. I love this story so much and I’m eager to see people find themselves and their friends in the story. But I also want to give you an escape from the everyday, and some hope too.

Alas and alack! I can only write and edit so fast. But if you want to keep up to date on HoM you can check out my Instagram or Facebook, both of which will have goodies for the upcoming series. As of now, I can’t give you a promised ball park release date. I can only promise that I’m writing as fast as my fingers can tolerate on this and other projects.

January will undoubtedly bring more book reviews and more writing on my part. In the mean time, enjoy the holidays, but don’t forget to take some quiet time for yourself.